what is getting in the way?
Let’s pretend you have a crystal clear idea of what you want in life.
You set foot out the front door of your house and hit the pavement ready to get it. To get after it. To secure that gold!
Issue is: you didn’t think ahead of time about your blind spots, the speed bumps, stop signs, and unpaved roads. Yes, these are collectively a metaphor for the world you live in.
Imagine if you trained for a long-distance race such as a marathon or ultramarathon without any long runs in your bodymind bank nor any consideration of how your state of being might change along the way.
Without mindful practice, we fail more.
And failure ain’t bad, but if you may be self-sabotaging by not considering the path ahead as you walk it.
This is a very different post and presentation for me–so I am intentionally being gentle and holding it lightly. I do not intend to empower people to shift their focus to obstacles all the time nor to all of the hard spots all the time; yet I do believe there is great value in considering this every once in a while.
Take a simple fitness example: the back squat.
75% of the time, you are greasing the groove on solid form and progressively overloading your weight; 25% of the time you are assessing where your “sticky points” are and tending to those. Perhaps you have poor ankle mobility or desensitized feet, so you spend 25% of your time doing functional range conditioning techniques on your ankles and walking on uneven, poky surfaces.
By putting in that 25% focus and concomitant TLC towards breaking through the speed bumps in your movement pattern, you become a more successful athlete.
Likewise, if you spend 25% of your time reflecting on what is getting in your way in all goals/desired feelings, you will gather the data to create a smoother life.
Consider it “ironing out the kinks” of your body, mind, and spirit.
Here are some of the things that get in your way in your life—from a holistic view, that you might not be aware of or tending to:
In Relationships
Termites
These are the people who you’ve continued to stay connected with from long ago but are slowly sapping energy and substance from you, beneath your consciousness. For example, the ex’s you’ve been following on social media that are popping up on your story feed and even though you don’t watch their stories, you see their name every time you go on the app.
Crabs
These are the people who pull you down as you are climbing up. They see you thriving, glowing, growing, and it makes them uncomfortable because they are not yet secure in their own path of self-growth, so they yank you down. If you want to see a video demo of this, click here.
Leeches
These are the people who suck the life out of you. Perhaps they want more than you are willing to give, repeatedly cross your boundaries, and just want to tag along to eat your success. That’s no fun. Yuck. Pull that person off and say “no.”
In Bodymind Practices
Instant Gratification
Perhaps you’ve heard of the infamous Marshmallow Experiment done at Stanford University in 1972 by Walter Mischel. Children (the subjects) were offered a choice between one immediate reward or two small delayed rewards. The immediate reward was a small marshmallow. If they waited 15 minutes before getting that marshmallow, they would also receive a second marshmallow or a pretzel stick in addition to the first marshmallow offered. IN this longitudinal study, those kids who exercised delayed gratification had better life outcomes.
If you expect and stay wired to instant gratification–that is, receiving a reward and concomitant dopamine rush within the speed of pressing a button (like much of our social media-laden culture trains us to do), you are probably going to take more shallow breaths, last shorter, and generate less power in your workouts. I don’t say this as a blanket statement–however, I’ve observed it a lot. People drain themselves of their own vital energy by doing things in the virtual world that offer a false, broadened sense of immediate reward then go into real life tasks expecting the same and are too exhausted and too easily upset when they don’t get the reward right away.
Undirected Energy
One of the chief benefits of breathwork and movement practices is that they positively, constructively direct your energy and attention. If you just unconsciously breathe all day and move all day (which probably wouldn’t result in all that much movement for the average American), you do a giant disservice to your current and future self.
In breathwork, box breathing is an easy example of how you can challenge your brain to focus on 4 second inhales, inhale holds, exhales, and exhale holds. You aren’t just directing for the sake of being controlling over yourself, but controlling with direction. This breath is directed at feeling more even-keeled, helping your immune system, and raising your focus level. In movement, just grabbing some dumbbells and swinging them around in different directions will give you exercise, but it might result in injury and disappointment. Say you want to build muscle. You’ll need some type of direction for your energy: volume, sets, reps, weight. Conscious weightlifting.
Extend into the world of nutrition, and you can easily catch yourself following trends of “what is currently claimed as ‘the best foods for you’” vs. actually noticing which foods are best for you.
This is the short-list of possible things getting in your way. It’s a diff list for every one in every moment.
Main consideration is to view what could be getting in your way before you set out full speed ahead.
Message me or click here to start a conversation about how to gain awareness of and break through the sticky points on your road to success and fulfillment (a.k.a. a fully-enjoyed and fully-expressed Life).
