honoring the partnership between your fitness and your self
Today’s piece is inspired by a conversation I overheard at the coffee shop this morning.
Waiting in line were two women, one confiding in the other how she’d “really let her body go.”
She said that when she was younger, she used to train diligently three times a week, but as she has gotten older (I’d surmise she is in her mid-30’s), her routine fell apart. “It’s easy to just do nothing,” she expressed. She went on to say “but I know I should.” “My back has been hurting again,” she grumbled.
Her friend suggested: “you should really think about doing Pilates; it’s great for building strength in your core, which will take strain off of your back.”
I stood at my table, listening: noticing a pattern in what women say, noticing a pattern in how women respond to other women, and noticing a giant area of opportunity for a blog post. So here it is.
The way you choose to exercise your body will forever, daily, impact how you feel and think about your self.
Yes, your body is “just the case/flesh” that holds together your spirit and desires, character and ideas, etc…but, on a daily basis, if you are not exercising your body well (which I will soon define), you will feel like shit. Period.
This is why, with all of my clients, I first observe, gather, and get a clear snapshot of what their daily movement practices look like.
The movement you choose to gift your body on a daily basis will generate positive momentum to take action and bring your best energy into other areas of your Life.
The exercises you choose to gift your body on a daily basis will either turn up or turn down your confidence for showing up in all other areas of your Life.
The weight you choose to gift your body on a daily basis will either bog you down or carry you forward in all other areas of your Life.
how are you speaking in your fitness-self partnership?
Your fitness is not saying something about you, it is saying something to you.
Your fitness is not saying something about you, it is saying something to you.
This means that you are not defined by how you do fitness, but you are shaped by it.
This means that your self-worth does not depend on how you do fitness, but it is influenced by it.
This means that your demeanor is not determined by how you do fitness, but it is decided by it.
how to better your communication with yourself through fitness
The inextricable link between how you do fitness and how you walk through the world, live in your body, and feel about yourself moment-to-moment is the partnership I am helping you keep healthy, strong, long, and happy today.
Begin feeling the awesomeness you are by following these three fundamental ways of being.
choose loving self-actions.
“How you do one thing is how you do everything.” The great philosopher T Harv Eker said this.
Live by this quote.
The wisdom of this speaks to the brain…a.k.a. this is how our brains work.
Each and every action we take is updating the software of our brain’s programming…a.k.a. how we think about and know and conduct ourselves.
If you hit ‘snooze’ three times every morning instead of just hopping out of bed, you are sending your brain the messages: “I have more important things to do than get up” and “I am not ready to put out this effort.”
If you fall into the couch cushions every day after work instead of just heading straight to the gym, you are sending your brain the messages: “I am too tired for this” and “I would rather be lazy than fit.”
If you drink soda every time you open the fridge instead of taking a swig from your Nalgene of water, you are sending your brain the messages: “I am okay with feeling poor energy levels” and “I would rather feel hyper-stimulated than in flow.”
These are just a few examples of how the seemingly micro actions we take on a daily basis—hour to hour, minute to minute, create either a strengthening or weakening effect on the brain. That is a bit oversimplified and whimsically categorized, so allow me to open it up. The brain is not just strong or weak—as a binary thinker would suggest. There is a stretchiness to the brain—neuroplasticity, where new things can be learned, new patterns can be created, and new behaviors and thoughts can become home, or natural. I’d call this Resilience.
The main point is that—much like the eyes of T.J. Eckleberg in The Great Gatsby, your brain is always watching what you do.
how to do it:
Start your day doing one thing that communicates to your brain who you want to be. Some simple ideas:
Move your body for 10 minutes with some simple mobility flows.
Drink a glass of water.
Give thanks for a new day and a few things that are awe-some in your life.
2. choose a loving self-view.
Rather than climbing into the caverns of your mind and all the sticky trauma of your past by trying to directly think your way through, you gotta start with action. That we’ve established above.
Once your actions are feeding positive thought patterns and fueling a healthy immune system, nervous system, and dynamic physical presence, you start to look at how you view yourself.
Does you accept the strangeness of your mind?
Do you believe you are worth it?
Do you care about your future?
If you answered ‘no’ to any of these questions, there is a hole in the fabric of your fitness, and thus, your Self.
You must let your mind flow, yet be the stallion of your beliefs.
You must believe that you are worth it, so that you can care about how you show up.
You must care about how you show up, because it is either feeding or fighting your brilliant future.
how to do it:
Begin building up a self-concept that only allows for acceptance, steadfast belief, and intimate care for your Self. Some simple starters:
Notice your thoughts and let go of them.
Catch yourself if you think “no, I can’t” or “I am not ready” or “I am not good enough” and replace that belief with something that cheers yourself on: “yes, I can” and “I am capable” and “I have everything I need.” There is no need to judge yourself, enough people will do that anyways.
Stop thinking about the past, and start embodying your most brilliant future. To do this, I most recommend a Joe Dispenza meditation, which will teach and encourage you to feel in your cells and see through your third eye the reality of you succeeding, thriving, bursting with awesome energy.
3. choose loving goals.
Love is much bigger than the Ego and much smaller than the You you are becoming.
I say this because choosing a loving goal means ascending what you think you need to do and how you think you need to do it (Ego) and transcending whatever your ordinary world that you’ve recognized is unhealthy is (the Old You).
Choosing loving goals, then, translates to choosing goals in a way that sets you up for long-term success.
how to do it:
Step outside of yourself and consider how you would advise a friend or lover. This might lead to these loving ideas:
Write down your big, lofty goals, then write down into chunks of goals along the way that are attainable. Before you know it, you will be in the sky.
Forget about what you “should” do (coming from the expectations of society/social circles) and ask yourself what your heart wants to do.
Choose to step beyond who you once were to become nobody, the step in becoming somebody New.
closing remarks
In your Self-Fitness Partnership, you can choose loving self-actions, loving self-awareness, and loving goals.
I encourage you to abandon the Old You who neglected your brain, the Old You who whittled yourself into a very small version of who you could be, and the Old You who set goals without thinking of your long-term success. She was never helping you anyways, right?
I hope you’ve enjoyed this piece and will continue and/or begin to view your relationship to your expression of fitness as a grand opportunity to be content within yourself!
If you’d appreciate further 1:1 guidance, click here to chat about working with me.