who’s on your wellness squad?
We all need teams, tribes, and families. There is our blood family, then there is our chosen family.
The chosen family shows up in our friendships, work circles, sports teams, book clubs, dinner clubs, and now…I want to introduce a new way to express your chosen family…your Wellness Squad.
FIRST: WHAT THE HECK IS A WELLNESS SQUAD?
A wellness squad is the group of people who you wholeheartedly choose to support you for maximal excellence and longevity on your wellness journey.
WHY THE HECK DO YOU NEED A WELLNESS SQUAD?
Every person has similar basic needs (a la Abraham Maslow):
See the basic three—‘physiological needs,’ ‘safety needs,’ ‘love and belonging’ first.
These are the ones that are incumbent upon you and your most inner circles of special caring people in your life (yourself included) to fulfill.
And sometimes, it does take hiring a coach to achieve those needs.
For example:
-a woman who is battling to get pregnant may need the expertise and empowerment of a Birthfit Coach to get ‘birth ready.’
-a person experiencing very recurring patterns of interrupted sleep may need a nutrition coach to help him figure out if he is nourishing properly so his body may rest at night
-a person who wants to lose body fat but is trying to no avail may need to hire a personal trainer to give her the right doses of strength training to accomplish the body composition changes she desires
-a person who feels crazy lonely, isolated, and depressed may need to hire a therapist to help recognize what is getting in the way of social connection and to spur some commensurate action to make bonds
-a person who feels overwhelmed, overstimulated, and distracted may need to hire a meditation teacher to learn the skills to focus the mind
I could go on for days with these examples, but the main message is: “there is no such thing as doing it on your own” and often times we shoot ourselves in the foot when we try to.
I used to be this way.
I would break away from all hands reaching out to help to show I could do it on my own. I had a hard drive and determination towards independence. This is probably why I felt like a giant weight was lifted off of my shoulders when I didn’t make the University of Michigan basketball team; heck, I began training for my first marathon (officially) the same day the coach called to tell me “no.”
But, as I’ve grown and matured, I’ve discovered and absorbed the wisdom of “working together.” Not only is it wise, it is smart, beautiful, rewarding, and wholesome.
Going back to the beginning here, we are not meant to be alone on this Earth.
As the African proverb goes: “if you want to go fast, go alone; if you want to go far, go together.”
^ Actually, I’d challenge that (hi, personality); sometimes, when you go alone, you don’t go anywhere at all. You just stay stuck in place.
I have had many people who served as crank lifts (you know, like the ones you would use to hoist your car up to replace a flat tire) at various points in my life. I feel indebted gratitude and happiness when I think about those moments where I let my guard down, allowed the helping hand, listened, and came out feeling more whole.
Stop for a moment to consider: are there people who have served as crank lifts at various points in your life? who are they? how did receiving their help ultimately make you feel?
Now back to the Wellness Squad pep talk 😉.
In the realm of wellness (can be described as thriving in mind, body, and spirit), you will go further, faster, and feel more wholesome when you have the right people supporting you.
who the heck should be on your wellness squad?
You gotta start with the end in mind. How do you want to feel? How do you want to look? How long do you want to live? What types of relationships do you want? The squad will be completely dependent on your unique goals, which you may (ironically) need to hire someone to help direct you to within yourself.
Because the process of choosing your squad is so individual, I will use an example to show you a sample Wellness Squad.
case example: amy, 34 y/y woman
Meet Amy. She is 34 years young (y/y), single, and a cardio fiend. She is feeling insecure about her body, though she has an engine as big as the Indian Ocean. She judges herself as flabby and feels shame when she looks in the mirror. Yuck.
Amy wants to be in a committed partnership, but she is totally engrossed in work all the time. You might even call her a ‘workaholic.’ Because dating has felt so hard, she has turned to work as both an escape and a proposed way to fill that void in her heart and soul.
Amy eats on a fairly regular schedule, but she knows she could do better. She knows she could add more fruits and veggies to her diet and cut back on the caffeine. The blaséness of her social life, however, steals the vital energy she needs to feed the positive feedback loop of eating high quality, robust nutrition and showing up as her fullest self each day.
On top of all of this, Amy has a few old injuries she never really addressed (both physical and emotional—though they are all intertwined). Her gait feels uneven when she goes for runs (sometimes walks, too) but she just pushes through it, brushing it off as nbd. Even though she wants that thriving committed partnership, her heart still feels broken and she still feels hurt from past romantic relationships.
Alright, who would I advise to be on Amy’s wellness squad?
If money was no barrier, this is who I’d visualize providing her with the support she needs:
Amy’s wellness squad:
A GREAT PERSONAL TRAINER
A GREAT CHIROPRACTOR
A GREAT ENERGY WORKER
-BIOENERGETICS
A GREAT MEDITATION TEACHER
A GREAT THERAPIST
A GREAT MASSAGE THERAPIST
I’ll disclose that I am body-centric, coming from a view that the body hosts the emotions and so I look to body-based practices first when clearing space in an individual so that s/he/they may thrive.
To select and allow the right people to help you, make sure services/conduct must be aligned with your personal values, so that you feel safe to thrive in their presence. This is one part of what makes all of these squad members great instead of just good, or even lousy.
Aspects that make a squad member great:
Experience (years and who they’ve worked with; success stories)
Energy (do you vibe with them?)
Ethics (going back to what I said above, it’s not a great fit for you if your values do not align…and no, that is not too much to require)
where the heck do you begin to build your wellness squad?
I always go by who you know, like, and trust; and often times, the most efficient and effective route to discovering those people is by asking someone you know, like, and trust. For example, my current therapist came as a recommendation from a sports psychiatrist I know, like, and trust My current chiropractor came as almost a directive from a chiropractor who I know, like, and trust. My current meditation teacher came from a preponderance of recommendations from many people who I know, like, and trust.
Know, like, and trust.
For this reason: I am giving my top recommendations for squad members in the Denver/Boulder area who I know like and trust.
CHIROPRACTOR:
-Dr. Mike Lynch and Dr. Peter Harris @ ADIO Chiropractic
-Dr. Solomon Champagne at The Source Chiropractic
MASSAGE THERAPIST:
-Mae @ Siam Sensation Massage (Thai Massage)
THERAPIST:
I do not feel welcome to disclose particular names here; if you have a need for a therapist on your wellness squad, send me a personal message and I can help direct you.
MEDITATION TEACHER:
-Joe Dispenza
ENERGY WORKER:
-Ann Bruinsma @ Live Your Light Care
PERSONAL TRAINER:
-Biased, but 👋🏻 Me
what if money and resources are a barrier?
I recommend that no matter what you build a wellness squad of 2-3 solid people, and you can fill the rest in online. When there is a will, there IS a way. Multiple ways, actually.
Some lower cost options to build your wellness squad:
CHIROPRACTOR:
Unfortunately, in this realm, I will not recommend any one who offers their services for super cheap. It would be doing you a disservice. Find a good chiropractor, and if that chiropractor is too costly for you, s/he/they will direct you to someone great that meets your budget.
MASSAGE THERAPIST:
-Buy your own kit of RAD Roller tools
THERAPIST:
-Betterhelp.com
MEDITATION TEACHER:
-Joe Dispenza—I consider him “my teacher,” but he is available to everyone…find his stuff online, most easily accessible by searching ‘Joe Dispenza Meditation’ on Youtube.com
ENERGY WORKER:
Byron Katie
PERSONAL TRAINER:
There is no replacement to working 1:1 in person with a trainer, but these apps are a good way to find a category of goals you have and get templates that guide you to those goals.
-Ladder
-Suprā by Ross Edgley
final notes on choosing your wellness squad
I think it is non-negotiable to have great people on your Wellness Squad. This is your life we are talking about.
For this reason, I want to add the grain of salt that when choosing your squad and considering these lower-cost options, it needn’t be at the expense of working with someone great.
I always prefer and “prescribe” face-to-face working relationships, as the human connection seems to support deeper and longer-lasting personal change. That said, I have also received great sustenance and spark from online teachers (for example, Joe Dispenza’s meditation guidance and Byron Katie’s spiritual guidance can bolster/buffer the other help).
However you choose your Wellness Squad, come from a place of thinking and acting that honors your highest expression of self, and ask yourself first: “if I was to give myself the best support in the world, who would that include?”