to mr. and ms. type-a: surround your milestones and avoid burnout

If you have the gift (and skill) of tunnel vision, this one is for you.

I grew up completely dedicated—with the narrowest of tunnel vision, to my goals. At 10 years old, I decided I would be the best basketball player in the world, and I let nothing get in my way. I focused on nothing else that what I claimed pertinent to the goal.

When I got there (not being the best, but my best…which by the way is an ever-growing, ever-extending experience), it was like: what now?

At that time, I was 21 years young, in college and had put little of my energies into anything outside of the mastery of basketball and academics.

I had the support of my family but few close friends.

I was very lonely.

This has inspired today’s post…a homage to the path I have taken and the lessons I have learned along the way. I will be dishing out how to avoid burnout while in the pursuit of your passion(s) on a macro level—surrounding the whole process, commitment, and lifestyle it requires to reach your event/peak moment, and on a micro level—surrounding the actual event/peak experience.

The intent is to keep you balanced, whole, happy, and away from burnout in your mind, body, spirit, and soul.

Whether you are a hard-driving business owner, copywriter, athlete, mom, dad, friend, student, engineer, woodworker…you name it, and you’ve tended to have tunnel vision over your life, this one is a love letter and a tough-love letter in one, to you.

Btw-how cute are these tap shoes?

how to surround your milestone events on the macro

1. Have a strong social network.

   Amongst the oldest, happiest, and healthiest (as a triad) people in the world, community is a central theme. Belonging to a group of people who care for you, inspire you, and who you can learn from and teach is vital. Whether this means joining an art club/book club, setting up phone calls or coffee dates with new friends a couple times a week, or simply delving deeper into the friendships you already have—you gotta do it. Staying connected is a pillar of your health.

2. Do fun things on the regular.

   Fun? Yeah, I know there is Type-II fun, but I’m talking about dabbling in—dare I say it, Type-I fun. Give yourself the permission to do things that feel “pointless.” Feel like just going on a girls trip and soaking in the springs? Do it!

3. Prioritize pockets of self-care.

   I’m talking each and every day. Set aside and invest your time in self-love and self-elevation practices. Some ideas: playing music, journaling, getting a massage, looking yourself in the mirror and saying “I Love You.” Some self-care costs real money and others just takes time.

4. Take it easy once in a while.
   
   This one tags on to self-care, but is a bit different. For us do-do-doers, not doing is the hard thing to “do.” You will feel more refreshed and alive if you take rest days. Consider at least one a week.

5. Practice open-awareness and being nobody.
   
   My direct recommendation for this is to try one of Dr. Joe Dispenza’s guided meditations on YouTube.
   
   Taking the focus off of your body and into the space around you will do wonders for your mind.

6. Honor your victories along the way.

   Don’t be such a hard-ass. It’s okay to tell yourself “yay, I did it” and to write down your little wins on the path to mastery. Where you place your attention your place your energy. If you want to feel like a winner, focus on your wins.
   

how to surround your milestone events on the micro

1. Plan a relaxing day or weekend before the peak moment/event.
   
   It’s important that you show up for your peak moments and events with a calm yet ready demeanor. This comes down to the state of your nervous system. Doing something relaxing like a spa day, romantic getaway, or just a day sitting, chilling, and reading awesome books will put you in a state where you just keep absorbing all of your hard preparatory work so that…when the gun goes off, when the lights shine on you, when the court case begins, when the date arrives…you just let your hard work express itself.
   

2. Set a celebration to follow the peak moment/event.
   
   This is one of my favorites. I used to finish one peak event and then just start training for the next. I was totally missing out. On what? On the joy of dancing the victory out loud.
   
   Plan a vacation, a special dinner, a concert—whatever you fancy.
   
   The key thing here is to plan it and do it regardless of your performance. You are celebrating your hard work, not the outcome.

3. Thank supportive friends and family.
   
   Gratitude is the highest expression of receivership. What a better way to mark your milestone—to really feel you’ve done it, than to thank the people who helped create a supportive environment to do it? Consider a phone call, a letter, or hugging the person/people in person. Give a heartfelt thank you for their presence in your life. This one is a micro and macro—no need to wait until you’ve “done the thing” to say “thank you.” Practice prospective gratitude.

4. Take a break after the big event.
   
   Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Let it out. Exhale. Relax. Relax. Relax. The world will not stop spinning if you do nothing for a little bit. The main guideline here is to release the stringent structure you were following and just do what feels good. No pressure to overdo it, go crazy, or do (fill in the relevant action) x-times a day/week to uphold the identity you had to for that mission.

5. Honor your current desires, drives, pulls, and passions.
   
   When you immersed yourself in that big project, you cut out all of the seeming “distractions.” But I know you are a person with many interests and desires. What were the activities, arts, and places you had to say ‘no’ to to get the job done?

6. Re-invite the dreamer into your present.
   
   Begin imagining and teaching your body emotionally what it could feel like to…(insert your dream here). This will help unlock more of #5. Joe Dispenza’s meditations will be an enormous help here, too.

We don’t want to miss the precious moments in life.
We want to ride the moments and fly free.

For the hard-charging, Type-A individual, this can happen if we are not mindful to stay open and connected to the world at large.

Remember to surround—to hug your hard work; maybe with these practices.

I hope this blog post has fueled you with the inlets to staying balanced, whole, happy, and vital as you walk, run, climb, and sweat the path to your peak moments.